


Turning

by EightDrinkAmy



Category: Orphan Black (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, POV Second Person, Sexual Harassment
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-06
Updated: 2015-05-06
Packaged: 2018-03-29 08:26:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 673
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3889402
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EightDrinkAmy/pseuds/EightDrinkAmy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"cosima stops sarah from getting in a bar fight (she was drinking because she was trying to forget that rachel had her daughter) and someone got too handsy/invasive/nosey and she throws her unfinished drink across the room and starts shoving the bloke. enter cosima."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Turning

The liquor burns as it glides down your throat. It’s not the best you’ve tasted, but it’s all you have. It washes away your inhibitions the way a river washes away its debris—but then again, there’s always that one stubborn twig that gets caught between the river stones, and your worries are no exception. It sticks in your head and you can’t dislodge it no matter how much you try to force it away:  _she has your daughter_. That bitch has your daughter. She’s yours; she doesn’t belong there, she doesn’t belong there, she  _doesn’t belong in that woman’s claws_.

You’re on your fifth drink, and the buzz of the bar’s atmosphere has all but disappeared. You’ve let it drift to the back of your mind as you shove the remainder of the alcohol away and bury your face in your folded arms. You want to forget, but you’re  _not forgetting_. You know you should be doing something about it; there  _has_  to be something you can do about it, but you’d made your choice. You hadn’t had an alcohol problem since you were a teenager, but people change/people change/people  _don’t change_.

You hear someone asking if you’re alright. You hear someone’s voice saying “You’re too young to be by yourself.” You’re an adult. “You know, you really should watch how much you drink with the way you look, darlin’.” Shut up. “Are you even listening to me?”

His voice grates on your nerves and you want him  _gone_ , but the moment he grabs your arm, the game is over/over/ _I will end you_.

You stand up quicker than he expects, your hand clenched around the glass before you hurl it past the stranger, letting it smash against the opposite wall and dangerously close to another person’s head. You shove the wild-eyed man, and you tell him to piss off. When he doesn’t leave, you draw your fist back and prepare to cave his face in, but another voice yelling your name stops you. You hold your stance, glaring holes into the man’s eyes, but you don’t swing. He deserves it, you think. He should be punished/he should be punished/ _you only want to punish yourself_.

But suddenly there are arms around you, fingers clenching the back of your shirt, and a familiar scent in your nostrils. You let the man walk away, muttering about how you “aren’t worth it”. You let the woman wrapped around you speak, and though you pretend not to hear it, you can’t ignore it. “We’ve been looking everywhere for you…Alison’s at Felix’s…worried sick…need to get you home….”

You let Cosima lead you out of the bar, and you don’t speak until she does. “Why would you run off like that in the middle of the night?” she demands. Her voice is firm, but oh-so desperate and caring. “How do you think I felt when I woke up and you were gone? When you wouldn’t answer your phone?”

You have no answer. You mumble out an apology. “S’ Kira,” you add. “I miss Kira. I need her back. I need her to be safe.”

You aren’t looking at her, but you hear her sigh, and then her arms are around you again. “I’m sorry,” she murmurs into your ear. “We’ll get Kira back, I promise. Rachel isn’t going to hurt her; I won’t let her. I’ll hold her back myself if I have to.”

You can tell she means every word she says, and that fact means  _so much_  to you that you can’t keep the salty tears from flooding your face as you hug her back and hold her to your chest because she is everything that you aren’t and she completes you and repairs you and  _loves_  you all at once, and she loves Kira, and you love her. You cling to her in that cycle of love and she kisses your tears away one by one and everything is turning, turning, turning. And you feel okay again.


End file.
